By: Tammy Stanard
First appeared in the Fall/Winter 2021-2022 edition of The CRIER
Life has changed, and life goes on. The pain of losing loved ones, jobs, opportunities and even milestones can cause a person to feel disoriented. Many of us know how that has felt over the last couple of years during the COVID-19 pandemic. We woke up one day realizing that the world would never be the same again, and even still, we may feel lost. Dealing with this change seems like having to lift ten times our body weight just to move an inch. Slowly though, we have been able to get through this new world and have learned how to change. If you are currently stuck in the feeling of hopelessness or if you would like to be a guide to a friend as they move forward with their life during the ongoing pandemic, here are some ways to help.
Deal with Grief
Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross wrote about the “Five Stages of Grief” that a person goes through as they deal with loss. From denial, anger, bargaining, depression, to acceptance, a person has to go through all of these stages to complete their grieving process. If a friend is grieving, urging them to open up about their feelings isn’t the right solution. Oftentimes, all they need is to know that someone is there. People go through each stage of grief differently, and at different time intervals. Having a support system makes this process much easier. When going through the grieving process, a person can go beyond acceptance. Their grief can inspire them to support relevant charities and causes. Ironic as it may sound, grief can propel a person to change their life for the better.
Detach from Social Media
Depending on how it is used, social media can either be a blessing or a curse. Social media updates and communication are great when a person is in control of their thoughts and emotions. But during those moments when a person is more introspective and sensitive, stepping away from social media has its benefits. Browsing social media posts while a person is miserable over a life event may cause them to unnecessarily compare themselves to others or lead to doomscrolling. This may further push them down the depths of melancholy and affect their confidence in moving forward. Detaching from social media is not easy, of course, but it is necessary for many. Uninstalling social media apps is the best option that combats the temptation to open them. Some may also want to consider deactivating their account for a time until they can return with a clear head or setting time limits on social media apps if they do not wish to leave it altogether.
Strive To Be Better
A little bit of confidence and inspiration can give a person the initial drive to begin a new journey towards personal development. Art is therapeutic, so trying an art form can ease the healing process. On the other hand, someone who wants to sort out their feelings can write a journal or a blog. Writing down thoughts and then re-reading them can help gain a deeper insight into thoughts and feelings. Similarly, if someone is ready to restart their career, professional development courses are available online to give them leverage and to upgrade their skills for their new endeavor. Free courses on various subjects are offered by colleges and universities through Coursera, edX, and Future Learn and even LinkedIn Learning have a wealth of resources.
Clean Up
Being too busy with life can clutter our lives and homes with things that should not be there. The KonMari method of tidying up by Marie Kondo is a great way to organize items without forcing a person to get rid of a lot of things. The essence of this method is to ask oneself if the item “sparks joy.” If it does, keep it. If it doesn’t, thank the item before discarding it. Cleaning up a home can affect a person’s mood, reduce mental clutter and also can help prepare for new opportunities and people in your life.
Reconnect And Build New Connections
Instead of getting updates about family and friends through their social media, talk to them. Ask them how they are and remember your moments together. Find new friends and connections by joining support groups, charities or professional organizations. The Junior League of Charlotte (JLC) can be a great resource as the League provides opportunities to connect with other women in the Charlotte area and serve the local community. Through these connections, a person can help others even as they help themselves. We do not need to immediately open our lives to a lot of new people. We can start by reconnecting with family and friends with whom we’ve lost connection due to other priorities. Sometimes, a person can find value in speaking with a trustworthy stranger. This is a person who is willing to listen to get to know another person through their story. There is something special in getting to know a person without prejudices and judgments.
Dream And Set Goals
Have something to look forward to by setting goals. Some of us use vision boards because they utilize the power of visualizing one’s dreams to bring them into reality. A vision board may be simple drawings, cutouts and even digital artworks that represent a person’s dreams and goals. These dreams serve as a guide and inspiration to keep going; reminders that there are better things to come once we are ready to take action.
